Archive | November, 2011

The Sandwich Files: Hummus and Roasted Vegetables

29 Nov

I’m about to make it rain first world problems on all of y’all, so get out your rain boots and your flood pants. Ready?

Sometimes I feel like a huge jerk because I don’t want to talk to anyone after yoga. Everybody’s always so relaxed and happy and chatting about nice things and I just can’t hang. Normally I would love to have some mellow small talk with some good hearted people, but come on you guys. I just spent over an hour getting into a really good nonverbal headspace and you want to take that away from me by talking about how “crazy” it is that it’s like 80 in November? Um, that’s why we live in San Diego stupid. I don’t want to sit around in my sweaty leggings and pillow talk for 20 minutes. I have to go home and make a sandwich. NOW.

the Goods

1 red or yellow bellpepper

1/2 head of cauliflower


goat cheese

spring mix


multi-grain bread

the Sandwich

Preheat your oven to 350. Chop the cauliflower and bell pepper and put them in a glass baking dish with a little bit of olive oil, a sprinkling of curry powder (optional) and a dash of salt (not optional). Roast the veggies at 350 for about 30 minutes or until you see them browning at the edges. Stave off post-yoga hunger rage by mindlessly grazing in your fridge. Have some ice cream. You’re a grown up.

I like to lay out my bread and put a thin layer hummus on both pieces. Then I build my sandwich thusly: radish slices first, roasted veggies next, add goat cheese and spring mix and then it’s a sandwich. Duh.

The really magical thing about this sandwich is the way the flavors interact. The hot, roasted veggies melt the goat cheese. The radishes balance the melty, creamy goodness of the cheese with a cool crunch and the multi-grain bread makes you feel like your mom needs to stop worrying about you. You’re doing just fine.


On Breakfast for Dinner

26 Nov

Do you hate breakfast but love breakfast food? Probably, because that is how I feel and I assume we are in total agreement all the time always. Having to eat breakfast tends to be a giant bummer. I wish I could just wake up in the morning, pour coffee through a funnel into my innards and rev up like a semi-truck, but unfortunately until science catches up with my dreams I have to sit still for like 10 minutes and eat something. This is a huge problem for me, because it means I have to get out of bed like 10 minutes earlier. THE HORROR.

This is where breakfast for dinner comes into play. Breakfast for dinner is one of the greatest meals known to man. I judge a restaurant based on when they stop serving breakfast. If the answer is never, I will be a proud patron for life. Even if I don’t want breakfast food at the moment, just knowing it is there comforts me greatly.

Tonight I’m having what my mom calls “Igloo Eggs”. I won’t insult your intelligence by calling this a recipe. Igloo eggs are just hot hardboiled eggs cut in half and arranged on the plate to look like igloos. Add butter and salt to taste and maybe use fruit, bread products and even bacon if you’re so inclined to give your plate the appearance of a smiling face. You can also make your plate frown at you in consternation if you’re feeling consternated. But why would you do that? You ruin everything. You’re such a jerk.

Other fun facts about breakfast for dinner: If you are cooking for a boy (THE HORROR) I recommend making breakfast for dinner. It gives you an excellent excuse not to make breakfast in the morning. I’m not a pancake machine bro. Breakfast for dinner is also a great thing to make if you happen to be wrangling children for some reason. Kids love anarchy and no meal is more punk than breakfast for dinner. Also, it is great for those nights when even though it is Saturday in real life, it is the Wednesday of your workweek and all you want to do is listen to M83 while tricking your cat into giving you back rubs (Real talk guys, my cat rules at this. He also throws up in his litter box just like humans do in the toilet. He is reading Kant in his spare time. He saved a baby from a burning building. Just real talk). Finally, for some reason breakfast for dinner seems like the easiest thing to make for myself at night although it’s excruciatingly difficult for me in the morning.


Thanksgiving Teriyaki Tofu with Sweet Potatoes

24 Nov

Full disclosure: I made this dish like 2 weeks ago and I didn’t take any pictures because I hadn’t yet realized that blogging was my destiny, my quest and my calling, so what you are looking at is indeed a can of Fancy Feast. Thanksgiving Flavored Fancy Feast! This is what my cat’s having for dinner. Be jealous.

Okay, so I know you’re all out there thinking, but Megan, why would you post a Thanksgiving recipe? Aren’t vegetarians just a bunch of bloodless killjoys who want to rob me of the sensual pleasures of the flesh and impose their strict morality upon my day of hedonism and mindless consumption? The short answer is: yes, of course we are. The nuanced answer is: I don’t care what you do; I would also like to stuff my face and watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation after dinner and fall asleep on the couch. So without further ado, I present to you a delicious and simple dish that even my little brother would like.

the Ingredients

1 brick firm or extra firm tofu

1 sweet potato

teriyaki sauce

maple syrup


the Work

Preheat the oven to 350. Gut your tofu container like a fish and drain the tofu water. Try not to look at or think about the tofu water. Don’t get it on your hands. OH NO. Go take a shower.

If you’ve cooked tofu before and you feel good about it ignore the rest of this paragraph, you’re on a roll! If you haven’t, you are going to want to get serious right now. I’m serious. Look at me when I’m talking to you. Drain the tofu water and get two big plates. Press the excess tofu water out between the plates. Put something heavy on the top plate and let it hang out for a while. You might even want to wrap your tofu up in some paper towels or something to really wick the moisture out. Draining the tofu water helps you get a better texture from the cooked tofu-beast. This is my least favorite part but it’s super important. Don’t blow it!

Are you back? Okay. Cut your tofu up into cubes and put the cubes in a square glass baking dish. I think mine is like 8″x8″, not that size matters. Pour a mixture that is roughly 2/3 teriyaki sauce, 1/6 maple syrup and 1/6 Tapatio on the tofu and wiggle the pan around until all your cubes are coated. Put it in the fridge for a while. Try not to think about the carnage.

In the meantime, peel the sweet potato. Sing a merry tune and cut it into little cubes about the same size as your tofu cubes. When you’re ready, toss the sweet potato cubes in the tofu pan. Splash the sauce around. Bake at 350 for about an hour, stirring a couple of times to check on your progress. The extra sugar from the maple syrup should caramelize a little on the edges of your cubes and the Tapatio gives it little more spice. Plus, you get to look at Mr. Tapatio and his lustrous mustache while you cook. Have you ever noticed how blue his eyes are? What a dreamboat.

White Bean and Spinach Soup

23 Nov

ImageI don’t know what’s up with my body, but I went from just a little tired, no bigs, to DYING OF THE FLU in the space of 10 minutes yesterday. I’m not the type who can rest unless I’m literally on the verge of death, so I’m shaking this thing off and getting cooking. Earlier this afternoon, I took some Dayquil and wandered around Goodwill for about an hour. I bought an amazing dark blue crushed velvet catsuit for like $10. Then, I invented this recipe for a bitchin’ vegan soup that can cure what ails you if you are me and you pair this soup with plenty of fluids and get your crazy ass back to bed.

the Ingredients:

1 small onion, chopped up like crazy

9 or 10 cloves of garlic, peeled and quartered

4 stalks of celery, chopped

1 large zucchini, cubed or whatever you like

1 15 oz can of white beans

4 cups (1 container) Pacific Natural Foods Vegetable Broth

1/2 cup brown rice

1 bag of lazybrand bagged spinach

the Gameplan:

Okay, so chop the living crap out of that onion. It’s okay to cry a little. If you’re super sensitive like me, you should probs remove your eye makeup before you even start. Next, peel that garlic and quarter it up. Finish chopping your veggies and throw them in a stupid bowl or something. Open your can of beans and rinse all that slimy bean juice off of them. Pro tip: rinsing your beans now will help you fart less later. If you like farting, by all means, skip this step! Next, grab a big old cauldron and get it hot on your stove. Toss a little olive oil in your cauldron and saute the onions and garlic on a medium high heat. I like having big old bites of garlic in my soup but if you’re a wimp or a vampire or something I guess you can handle your garlic situation differently. Just know that I am silently judging you.

When the onions and garlic start looking transparent and soft and it smells like you’re cooking something, throw in the celery and zucchini and saute them for a couple minutes. Feel free to add a pinch of sea salt if you have it on hand. It sends a message to your heart that you’re not afraid of no sodium. When you feel like your veggies are about to cry out for mercy, drown them in the broth. Add in the beans and rice and bring that shizz to a boil. Once your proto-soup is boiling and covered, bring the heat down to a simmer and go do something else for a while.

Oh crap, I guess I’m stuck here for like 45 minutes to an hour, however long stupid rice takes to cook. I guess I’ll try and think of a good name for my blog. God, this is hard. I wonder if the first boy I ever kissed is on Facebook. I bet he has really bad taste in music now. Uuuugh, why can’t I find him? I hope he didn’t die. Oh balls, the rice is done!

Okay, when the rice is done, open up that bag of spinach and dump it in. Cover the pot and simmer until the spinach is cooked. Mix that spinach in and soup’s on. Cowabunga dude! For extra credit, enjoy a nice cold winter flavor Blue Moon while you’re cooking and pound half a gallon of OJ when you’re done.